In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.

- Douglas Adams

:)

“Jaane Tu … ya Jaane Na” is what I call a “made hit”. This is a movie, whose directors are aware of what are they trying to make … they know that the thing they are trying to make would be mind-bogglingly entertaining … and they successfully make what they are trying to make. It is a really beautiful movie.

And no, I refused to write a review, because its past midnight and I’m not Cinderella. … But I admit that now I’d very much like to ride a white horse on the streets of Mumbai…

What is quite surprising about Faiz, or may be not, is that he has a wonderful, soft and romantic side too. We know that Faiz fell in love with and married a British woman named Alys. She is considered by many to have molded the personality and expression of Faiz. Talking about this soft side of Faiz, two gazals come to my mind, “Tum mere paas raho” (which I’ll surely post some day), and the one posted below. Its hard to say much about Faiz’s emotional state or situation in life at the time of writing, but he by far captured the awkwordness of certain situations as beautifully as anyone could. Enjoy!!

हम के ठहरे अजनबी कितनी मदारातों के बाद
अब बनेंगे आशना कितनी मुलाक़ातों के बाद

[मदारात == hospitality, expression of affection]
[आशना == lovers]

कब नज़र मे आएगी बेदाग सब्ज़े की बहार
खून के धब्बे धुलेंगे कितनी बरसातों के बाद

[बेदाग == clear, unadulterated]
[सब्ज़े की बहार == green and fresh season of spring]

दिल तो चाहा पर शिक़स्त-ए-दिल ने मोहलत हि न दी
कुछ गिले शिकवे भी कर लेते मुनाजातों के बाद

[शिक़स्त-ए-दिल == heart’s defeat (heart getting out of control because of extreme affection)]
[गिले शिकवे == cribs, complaints]
[मुनाजातों == affectionate prayers]

फ़िर बहुत बेदर्द लम्हे खत्म-ए-दर्द-ए-इश्क़ के
थीं बहुत बेमेहर सुबहें मेहरबाँ रातों के बाद

[खत्म-ए-दर्द-ए-इश्क़ == end of love’s pain]
[बेमेहर == ufriendly, unforgiving, not helpful, opposite of मेहरबाँ]

उनसे जो कहने गए थे फ़ैज़ जान सदक़ा किये
अनकही ही रह गई वह बात सब बातों के बाद

[जान सदक़ा किये == with letting life for sacrifice]
[अनकही == unsaid]

Two very different renditions of the gazal are available:

• By Nayyara Noor, which you can listen to here. Video of one of the live shows is here.
• By Shubha Mudgal, which you can find here. I couldn’t get you guys a free link. But this version is good too.

बाज़ीचा-ए-अतफ़ाल है दुनिया मेरे आगे,
होता है शब-ओ-रोज़ तमाशा मेरे आगे।

[बाज़ीचा-ए-अतफ़ाल == child’s play] [शब-ओ-रोज़ == day and night]

होता है निहाँ गर्द मे सहरा मेरे होते,
घिसता है ज़बीं ख़ाक पे दरिया मेरे आगे।

[निहाँ == indistinguishable] [गर्द == sand] [सहरा == the desert ] [The line means, that I seem to be living for so long that the sand of the desert is getting created in front of me]
[ज़बीं == forhead] [ख़ाक == soil] [Again, the line signifies that I seem to have been alive to see the river erode the soil in front of me]

मत पूछ कि क्या हाल है मेरा तेरे पीछे,
तू देख कि क्या रंग है तेरा मेरे आगे।

ईमाँ मुझे रोके है, जो खींचे है मुझे कुफ़्र,
क़ाबा मेरे पीछे है, क़लीसा मेरे आगे।
[ईमाँ == integrity, truthfulness, religion] [कुफ़्र == irreligiousness, lure of the material gains] [क़ाबा == kaaba] [क़लीसा == technically is a Church, but used here to signify place where कुफ़्र happens]

गो हाथ को ज़ुंबिश नही, आँखों मे तो दम है,
रहने दो अभी सागर-ओ-मीना मेरे आगे।
[ज़ुंबिश == motion, energy] [सागर-ओ-मीना == the glass of wine]

Many Indian and Pakistani singers have beautiful renditions of the gazal. One of the more famous ones is by Jagjit Singh from the serial Mirza Ghalib. Here’s the clip on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybAJ2xsYd4A

सरकती जाए है रुख़ से नक़ाब आहिस्ता आहिस्ता,
निकलता आ रहा है आफ़ताब आहिस्ता आहिस्ता।

[रुख़ == beloved’s face] [नक़ाब == veil] [आफ़ताब == sun]

जवाँ होने लगे जब वो तो हम से कर लिया परदा,
हया यक लख़्त आई और शबाब आहिस्ता आहिस्ता।

[हया == लज्जा, blush] [यक लख़्त == at once, suddenly] [शबाब == youth, beauty]

शब-ए-फ़ुरक़त का जागा हूँ, फ़रिश्तों अब तो सोने दो,
कभी फ़ुरसत मे कर लेना हिसाब आहिस्ता आहिस्ता।

[शब-ए-फ़ुरक़त == night of separation (from the beloved)]

सवाल-ए-वस्ल पर उनको उदूँ का ख़ौफ़ है इतना,
दबे होंटो से देते हैं जवाब आहिस्ता आहिस्ता।

[सवाल-ए-वस्ल == request to meet] [उदूँ == villian, competitor in love] [ख़ौफ़ == fear]

वो बेदर्दी से सिर काटे “अमीर” और मैं कहूँ उन से,
हुज़ूर आहिस्ता आहिस्ता, जनाब आहिस्ता आहिस्ता।

[बेदर्दी == ruthlessness]

And, you can listen to the gazal here.

Also, one of Jagjit Singh’s concert videos for the song can be found here.

Didn’t you expect nonsensical metaphors here? You haven’t read my earlier blogs then. Please do.

Okay, so back to Vick Vaporub. You rub it on your chest, your neck, around your nose, may be if you mistook it for Zandu balm, then on your head. You do it when you are sick. It makes you feel better. And it makes you better by evaporating itself, when it leaves your skin.

Life is something that you rub on yourself superficially. Haven’t you heard people (especially brown-haired, satin-skinned, beaming-eyed woman) telling fat nerdy bearded geeks - “You’re sick, Get a Life!!”. So typically those geeks would try and get a life… by rubbing it superficially… they’ll go and swim, play a game of pool, or watch a movie, or chase girls, play guitar, sketch, paint, flirt, write, drink, drive, act, debate, code, design, orkut (v), discuss etc… Drinking following driving in the above line is purely incidental. (To be legally safe, the author does not take any responsibility for the urges emanating in the readers mind)

So yes, it seems they got some life rubbed on themselves. But they still feel sick. Because, life, like Vicks Vaporub, makes you feel better only when it leaves your superficial skin. When it evaporates.

But, why?

Because, it has to get in to you, to be able to treat you, to be able make you feel less sick. And it can get in you only when it evaporates, only when it enters your lungs through your nose. It opens up what is clogged inside. That something, which is preventing you from breathing freely. That something, which is making the head heavy. It enters you, settles down and you start breathing freely.

Life is also like that. There is nothing intrinsic about those get-a-life-actions that will give you a life. Let it be, putting some colors on a canvas, or some charcoal on paper, or letting the visuals of a movie reach your eyes, or letting your body float on a swimming pool, or writing poetry for a woman, or putting your leg hard on the accelerator while driving on an empty highway. There are no measurable units of life in any of those acts. They are just superficial rubbings. You have to let it evaporate, let it leave your body, and enter you on its own.

But you still have to start by rubbing it in, and have faith that it will get inside you on it self. And remember that it would not get in, if you don’t rub it, to start with. You have to make the effort and let it go, and have faith that it will enter you … relief will follow

Good punch line for the Procter and Gamble guys … right? “Relief will follow”

So, life, like Vick Vaporub, being volatile, will leave your skin and go onwards and upwards, and finally get inside you.

So, what’s the conclusion of the metaphor? It is not new. Somewhere in the planes of Haryana, some 5,110 years ago, a saarathi told a dhanurdhar - “Do your job well”

For me, it is a pleasure to engage in a discussion, more so if it is getting more of a discourse where only I speak and the other guy listens. And I’m almost oblivious to the fact that the state of mind of the guy in front might be anything between blissful, perplexed, disgusted or I-would-kill-you-if-its-not-illegal.

But strangely so, this trait has been handy, very very handy. I met a couple of guys (absolute strangers) a few days back. They were sitting a few places from me in a restaurant, and seemed to be having an intense discussion about some very personal stuff. So much personal that, the decibel levels of their voice discussing that stuff in public, was enough to indicate that they were surely drunk. One of them had a beard and had pretty long hair; the other one was wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. I had enough reasons to say a “hi”. And I did. And found out that one of them was an automobile engineer turned journalist turned PR guy, the other was a dropout geek attuned to rolling out code faster than speech. We struck a conversation, a conversation which lasted eight hours.

Not so strangely, I did like the guys. There was a sort of candidness in the talk, because there was nothing to lose, no hesitation in abusing the other, no thoughts of how the guy might feel, no chance of we meeting again. And that, actually changed the way I converse. I was actually listening to them.

A student went to his meditation teacher and said, “My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I’m constantly falling asleep. It’s just horrible!”

“It will pass,” the teacher said matter-of-factly.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. “My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It’s just wonderful!’

“It will pass,” the teacher replied matter-of-factly.

I like their expression.

That someone, is a nice and close friend, and well, is quite dumb. Usually it is hard to find intelligent people who are nice and close. So, I guess it is quite nice to be dumb, as long as you are nice. And finding that post (and my blog in general) useless, is one of the lesser dumb things demonstrated by this friend. In fact, it is a pretty worthwhile observation that my blog is useless.

So, I decided to write about ‘being useless’.

Being useless, is probably, the highest form of existence one can think about. I know that people would not quite appreciate finding philosophical imports on a useless blog, of course, except those who find philosophy useless. So, I decided to quote someone else. And this quote is about someone who never liked to be quoted - Lao Tzu. So, here’s something indicating his views about being useless:

Lao Tzu was traveling with his disciples and they came to a forest where hundreds of woodcutters were cutting the trees. The whole forest had been cut except for one big tree with thousands of branches. It was so big that 10,000 persons could sit in its shade.

Lao Tzu asked his disciples to go and inquire why this tree had not been cut. They went and asked the woodcutter and they said, “This tree is absolutely useless. You cannot make anything out of it because every branch has so many knots in it - nothing is straight. You cannot use it as fuel because the smoke is dangerous to the eyes. This tree is absolutely useless, that’s why we haven’t cut it.”

The disciples came back and told Lao Tzu. He laughed said, “Be like this tree. If you are useful you will be cut and you will become furniture in somebody’s house. If you are beautiful you will be sold in the market, you will become a commodity. Be like this tree, absolutely useless, and then you will grow big and vast and thousands of people will find shade under you.”

I thought about it, and realized, that the tree is not useless. It is useful - you can find shade under it. But the point is - it is just not ‘trying’ to be useful.

Somethings are known about it. Such as, it is some page. But, there are some other things which are not known about it. Like, someone must have written it. We don’t know who that someone is. There might be someone who might tell us who that someone is, but we don’t know this someone as well.

Anyways, lets talk of something else about this some page. So, it was written at some place. Though, we don’t know where this someplace is, but we surely know that it was a place. We say this with some certainty, because things are usually written ‘at’ places.

We thought for a while, and asked ourselves - is there something else we can say about this page with some certainty. And we found that it was written on some day. Perhaps, may be on some night. Or maybe some such time which can’t be classified as day or night without some error in judgement. Or maybe because you can always find some place where there is night right now - and also some place where there is day.

Hey, wait - there might be places where there is no concept of day or night!

Okay, so we conclude that this page was written at some time.

Further, there must be something this page was written for. You know, some purpose, some tangible outcome the writer was looking to achieve. But then, we cant say this even with some degree of certainty - there are some people, who do somethings, without a purpose.

By this point, we surely have reached a stage to talk something about the content of this some page. So this some page, predominantly talks somethings about itself. It is fairly egotistical. Well, though it is sprinkled with a lot of self questioning gestures, so reminiscent of the ageless wisdom of the East.

Some of us might find it somewhat absurd. Some others might find some of it absurd. Still others might find it thoroughly absurd.

The logician might stop midway in the page because of fear of finding paradoxes due to the self references. The Vedantin might be pleased by seeing ’self’ being discussed so many times. The Buddhist or the agnostic might be thrilled by the importance given in this page to the ‘uncertain’ pronoun ’some’. The skeptic would detest the ’some’ and would strongly affirm in a knowledgeable sounding tone that ‘nothing can be known about this page’.

The physicist, might find the affirmative singular used in ’some place’ incorrect. He would be happy with the ‘fact’ that the page might have been written at many places with varying degrees of probability. The chemist, well what can a chemist ask or think? Let me think of something - may be “what ink was used?”. Well forget it. The mathematician might find this page amusing as it might remind him of the Cheshire Cat saying - “We all are mad here. You are mad. I’m mad.” No wonder Lewis Carroll was a mathematician - they all are mad.

The grammarian should find this page ‘correct’. They found this correct. The linguist would frown at the page as utter abuse of language as a means of expressing nothing. The poet might smile. The muse might blush. She would have blushed anyways - without this page.

Heisenberg was right - somethings can’t be known. And, Salvador Dali would love it.

This page has many stakeholders, it is hard to say what it is, it can be passed as anything, it is accessible on the web, it is created after 2005, it is useless, and it is blogged - Tim O’Reilly may find it Web 2.0.

This is one of the many ends of this page. The other one is above. Some people count two as many, sometimes. Others don’t. We are not others.

I know it is enough frustration you have already gone through if you are reading this line. Rest assured it was not to irritate you. I just needed a break from sanity.