There was a knock on the door. I opened the door. There was no one there. I was oscillating between the thoughts of whether I’m overhearing or is there somebody playing a game with me. This was not happening to me for the first time. And I failed to remember since when this was happening to me. But there was something inside telling me that I’m waiting for someone; whom I didn’t know.
Next day, the knock was there again. I chose not to open the door this time. And it never knocked again, at least for a long time.
It is a new day today. It has been some four and half years since I heard the knocks first. And there is again a knock today. But, on a different door now. I’ve moved a lot since that time, and I live behind a new door now. But this time I want to open the door. Probably somewhere deep inside the feeling remains, that perhaps I should have persisted with my routine of opening the door. Probably the last time I decided not to open it, someone must have been there … waiting. And I walk towards the door, with my hand close to the knob, and stop.
I want to capture this moment. There may be a time, when I hear the knocks again. Or perhaps no one would ever bother to knock my door again. Or may be someone is really there to be greeted. Whatever, I just want to log this thought and freeze it in time. And that’s why this post.
Ghushe… my guess is that at 3:15 AM, you were most likely imagining the knock. What is amazing to see is the layers of thought you have built around the imagination. Makes me wonder what sanity really is. Are your thoughts still in the realm of sane, or have you come over to my side?
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Ghushe, it’s high time you “knock” the door of a psychiatrist.